Love Yourself
by sangheilitat117
Summary: Weiss is a reindeer faunus in a world that discriminates against them. Things are worse for her though, since unlike others, she can't hide her ears under a bow or cover her tail with a pair of pants. She can't conceal her antlers. She hates them. She hates everything, including herself. But she doesn't hate Ruby.


"Weiss, please wait! I'm sorry!"

Ruby's words echoed in her mind, replaying over and over like a horrible song she couldn't get rid of. She brushed aside the snow-laden boughs of trees that attempted to block her path, just like everything else in her life did. Her hands were so numb that she couldn't feel them anymore. Her feet and stocking-clad legs were much the same. The whirling snowfall obscured her vision and turned the world into a spinning nightmare of white; white like her outfit, white like her hair, white like the crest of Schnee Dust, which she hated so much.

It was just as well, her father hated her too.

There was only one reason for their mutual hate, and it was nothing she had done or made a choice about. Nothing that she consciously decided, not a mistake, not even a tiny lapse in judgement. It was over something she had absolutely no control over.

The multi-pronged antlers sticking out of the crown of her forehead got stuck in another tree branch, and she snarled and shook her head to dislodge them. She couldn't even live up to her animalistic counterparts. Animals with antlers were solemn and majestic; kings of the forest, moving with grace and distinction as they glided between the trees. Their antlers were symbols of their age and their power.

Hers simply got in the way, got stuck in tree branches and tangled in leaves and door frames.

She hated them. She hated herself. She hated the faunus for trying to pity her. She hated humans for judging her because of something she couldn't control. She hated her father for sending her to Beacon, for sending her away because he didn't want an illegitimate faunus child bringing shame to the illustrious Schnee name.

She hated Yang for poking fun at her, no matter how much of it was in jest. She hated Blake for trying to sympathize with her, for trying to pretend that she understood Weiss' problems. She hated Ruby for...

No, she corrected, as she stopped in her tracks. She didn't hate Ruby. She couldn't bring herself to go that far.

In the back of her mind she realized she was fully and completely lost, out in the frozen white Emerald Forest. Winter held the woods firmly in its icy grip, coated the trees in frost, and covered the boughs and branches with piercingly white snow. It held beauty captive like a hostage, twisting the word and forcing it to be used in a way it shouldn't be.

But the forest was beautiful. It was an austere, frigid beauty, but it was beauty nonetheless.

Exhausted and lacking the will to run any further, she simply collapsed backwards against the trunk of a nearby evergreen.

Her emotions were a swirling mix of anger and sadness, fury at the people around her and disgust at herself. She reached up with shaking hands and felt the antlers on top of her head, just to make sure that the absolutely useless things were still there. The things that were ruining her life, piece by piece. She would be crying if she didn't hate the idea of shedding tears, and if she wasn't that sure they would have frozen on her face in the bitter cold.

The pain of loneliness and anger was like a sharp knife in her chest. Lost in her-self loathing and buried rage, she had systematically pushed everyone in her life away. Potential friends, allies, everyone who might have genuinely understood and sympathized with her. One by one, everyone had left her, repulsed by her frosty attitude and constant disdain.

Everyone except for one person.

There was one person that had never stopped trying to get close to her, to befriend her, to stay with her. One person that she couldn't push away, no matter how often and how hard she tried. No matter how much she told herself how worthless and useless she was, this person never stopped trying to lift her up and make her change her mind about herself.

"Weiss! Where are yo_uuu_?"

Weiss exhaled heavily, and her breath misted out in a white cloud of uncertainty and regret. Speak of the devil.

Ruby sprinted into view, her crimson cloak billowing around her like a sail in a Nor'easter. She stood out like a blood stain in the alabaster forest, drawing the eye no matter how hard one tried to look away.

Weiss was caught between two conflicting lines of thought, two possible actions she might take.

She could call out to Ruby and reveal herself. But she was still angry at the younger girl for what she had said earlier, and the self-pitying masochist – the one that had been built up in her psyche over the years she had unwillingly existed in this cruel world – wanted to be left alone to be drowned in her own despair.

So instead of calling out to Ruby or revealing herself in any way, she simply sat as still as a statue, watching the brunette like a hawk. Ruby had slowed and was looking each and every which way, as if she somehow knew that Weiss was here.

Still, deep down, a desperate part of her hoped beyond hope that Ruby would discover her anyway. It hoped that that Ruby would find her and save her, pull her from the ocean of self-loathing she was sinking into.

And just as she was thinking that, Ruby's eyes locked with hers.

A broad grin appeared on the younger girl's face. It said something about her: despite where they were and the fact that Weiss had been running from her, all it took was the sight of the snow-covered heiress to wipe all the angst away and bring a warm smile to her face.

Ruby forgot like no one else she had ever met. Sometimes it worked against her, but other times it was a blessing. The girl never held onto grudges or remembered arguments. She was so kind and honest that it scared Weiss.

As Weiss sat frozen with fear and anticipation, Ruby crossed the distance between them, keeping her eyes on her the whole time as if she was afraid that Weiss would bolt at any moment. She brushed aside stray tree limbs with no apparent effort, moving carefully and hesitantly like a rider approaching a wild horse.

When Ruby reached her, she didn't know what to expect. But the younger girl simply stood over her, arms clasped behind her back, wearing a bright smile that simply said, "I'm happy to see you."

"Hey Weiss."

"Go away Ruby."

The brunette frowned. "But I just found you. Why would I leave now?"

Weiss scowled and looked down at the ground, unable to bear Ruby's smile any longer. "Because I know you don't mean it. I heard what you said."

"Um, that I liked you? I mean I totally didn't mean it like that, I know that's weird and I know we're partners and that we've only known eachother for a year and I don't want to mess that up, and I'm sorry if you think that-"

Weiss held up her hand. "Ruby. Stop."

The brunette squeaked. "Eep. Okay."

"It's what you said after that. You said: 'It's okay, Weiss, I like you even though you're a faunus.'"

Ruby frowned again. Weiss decided it wasn't a good look on her. "Oh wow, crap you were mad about that? You got that all wrong, that's not what I meant at all!"

The would-be heiress raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Then what _did_ you mean?"

"I meant, like, you know, that I didn't think of you being a faunus at all when I said that. To me you're just a person, just like Yang or anyone else. You've got your own problems and all that, and you don't need anyone singling you out and making you feel all weird. It's like, when I think of you, the fact that you're a faunus doesn't even occur to me. Does that make sense?"

Weiss was taken aback to say the least. "Wait, so... you mean you don't care that I'm a faunus?"

Ruby flailed her arms in front of herself. "Nonono, I mean, I care that you're a faunus, but it doesn't really matter to me at all. It's not something that – I mean, I think your antlers are super pretty though! But they don't really uh, what's the word? Influence! They don't really influence the way I think about you at all. I like you," she finished with a squeak.

Weiss felt her cheeks flush, even though she was still shivering against the cold. "You... like me?"

"Yeah I mean-" Ruby suddenly froze, then backpedaled rapidly. "I mean I like you but not like-like you! I mean you're totally awesome and pretty and smart but I don't really mean like that! I just like you. You know. Like we're friends and partners."

Weiss wasn't exactly sure why, but her heart seemed to sink a little at Ruby's declaration. "It's fine Ruby. I know what you mean." She smiled nervously. "I like you too."

Ruby's mouth went into a little 'o' and then she quickly recovered. She blushed and looked down, kicked at the snow at her feet, then looked back up at Weiss with a hopeful smile.

However, concern then marred her features. "Hey Weiss, are you cold?"

Weiss stared at her in disbelief. "Did you seriously just ask that question you dolt? The trees are covered in snow, ice is coating the ground, I'm blatantly shivering, and you ask me if I'm cold?"

Ruby stuck her tongue out. "Urgh, yeah, stupid question. Here, take my cloak!"

Without an ounce of hesitation Ruby unpinned her cloak from around her neck, then bent down and wrapped it around the older girl. Weiss froze and reached up her hand, gently touching the soft fabric and drawing in a sharp breath. The idea that someone would do this for her was hard to believe. The idea that Ruby would do this with the object she treasured most in the world, the only part of her mother she had left, was insane.

"Ruby... are you... are you serious?"

Ruby grinned and wrapped her arms around herself, already starting to shake in the biting cold. "Y-Yeah, I'm totally fine. You've been out here longer than me anyway, and you're a little smaller so you need m-more body heat!"

Weiss glared at her. "Did you just call me short?"

"N-No!" Ruby exclaimed. "I just m-meant, oh crap, w-whatever."

Weiss smiled at her partner's endearing cuteness. She curled the warm fabric of Ruby's cloak around her fingers, and realized that her body was already starting to heat up. Ruby's cloak was abnormally warm.

But the image of Ruby still standing above her, arms around herself, shivering in the cold, was getting hard to bear. After all that running she was still too tired to make the trek back to Beacon through the hard-packed snow, but she couldn't bear to simply sit there and watch Ruby freeze to death.

Sighing in resignation, she pulled the cloak open. "Come here you dolt."

Ruby's shivering suddenly ceased, and she stared down at Weiss with very big and very surprised eyes. "Du – I, guh – wha?"

She gestured with the cloak, holding it open wider. "I said come here, before I change my mind."

With infinite care Ruby started moving, lowering herself down until she was sitting next to Weiss.

The would-be heiress scoffed. "Ruby, this cloak isn't big enough for the both of us if you just sit next to me like that. You're going to have to..." She fought down a blush. "Get closer."

Ruby's face went completely blank. But she moved closer anyway, resting her head on Weiss' shoulder and snuggling into the curve of her body.

"There," Weiss whispered. She closed the cloak again, enveloping the both of them in a crimson cocoon of warmth. The white-haired girl stayed perfectly still, not daring to move even an inch. She didn't want to disturb this: the perfect closeness she shared with Ruby. She had never been this near to another person before, never shared the warmth of another's body. It was nearly overpowering in it's sincerity and intimacy, but she couldn't bring herself to find any fault in it.

It was warm, and it was strong, and it was real.

Suddenly Ruby shifted, moving her arms and wrapping them around the older girl's waist with gentle care. Weiss felt her heart-rate pick up, and she struggled to rein in her breathing. She still didn't move, because she was worried that if she did, Ruby would leave her just like everyone else. Ruby would realize how worthless and disgusting she was and abandon her in the cold, just like she deserved.

But Ruby didn't. She stayed. Her breathing tickled the sensitive skin of Weiss' neck, and it might have been her fragile mental and emotional state, but she could have swore that Ruby was breathing far more quickly than normal.

As time dragged on, the snow continued to fall, and they stayed much the same as they were. Occasionally one of them moved a hand or shifted a leg, but they remained warm, and in Weiss' case at least, inordinately happy.

Suddenly Ruby shifted, and Weiss was possessed by a gripping fear that the younger girl was finally going to leave her. But the brunette merely raised her head so she could speak.

"Hey Weiss?" She sounded nervous and afraid.

"Yes Ruby?"

"I uh... I lied. Earlier."

The fear returned as quickly as it had disappeared the first time. She stayed silent; terror and regret constricted her throat like a vice.

"When I said I didn't like you earlier, like-like you." Ruby's voice dropped to a whisper. "I lied. I do like you."

Weiss' mind went blank as a piece of unmarked paper. Ruby ducked her head back down, hiding it in the folds of her cloak. "Sorry," she mumbled. "That was stupid of me. You just still looked sad and I wanted you to know that someone really cares about you. Sorry."

Weiss' racing mind slowly restructured itself into some semblance of order, and thoughts came together like a puzzle.

Someone actually thought of her in a romantic sense, actually liked her. Ruby liked her. Ruby _liked_ her.

"Can we still be friends?" Ruby muttered. "Just forget about what I said."

But Weiss didn't answer. She was still trying to make sense of her thoughts. She prided herself on being meticulous and logical even in stressful situations, and this was no different.

_"Alright,"_ she thought. _"Start from square one. Ruby likes you. Do you like her?"_

The answer was a tenuous maybe. She didn't necessarily see her partner in a romantic light. She had never considered a relationship with Ruby. But that wasn't to say that she hadn't considered a relationship with Ruby so much as she had never considered a relationship period. She had never assumed anyone could actually like her enough to want to be with her.

So would a relationship with Ruby be bad? No, she realized, not at all. Ruby was the only person on the face of the world that she would consider such a thing with. Ruby was the only one she would trust not to betray her or take advantage of her.

Ruby would take care of her. Ruby would show her constant affection, even when it was unwanted. That was just the kind of person Ruby was. She was the kindest and most sincere person Weiss had ever met, and she further realized that this went both ways.

She wanted Ruby for herself. It might have been selfish, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She wanted that warmth, that happiness, that smile. She wanted to make it hers before someone else did. Someone else that might potentially hurt the younger girl. Ruby didn't deserve to be hurt. She deserved to be cherished and cared for. And Weiss was absolutely sure that she could be the one that did that. After all, the ones that hurt the most were the ones capable of the most kindness. They knew what it felt like to be treated like dirt, and they didn't want anyone else to experience the same thing.

She was sure she could reciprocate Ruby's affection.

And what of other considerations? Her family? She scoffed. Her father couldn't hate her any more than he already did. Ruby's family? Yang? She figured that if Ruby truly wanted this, then the blonde would eventually come to terms with it.

Everything else was really a non-issue. There wasn't much more to consider. And if she was being honest with herself, she was quite touched that anyone cared about her that much, let alone Ruby. There was a warm feeling deep in her chest, one caused by knowing that someone truly cared for her, and it went perfectly with the warmth of the cloak. She wanted more of this feeling.

Would a relationship with Ruby work? Probably.

Would a relationship with Ruby work in the long run? Maybe.

Did she want a relationship with Ruby? Yes.

Her mind made up, she lowered her head and pressed a soft kiss to Ruby's frazzled hair. "We can still be friends," she murmured, "but I don't want to forget about what you said. I can't say that I like you that way yet, but I'm touched that you feel that way about me, and I'm certainly willing to try."

Ruby's breathing stopped for a moment, and then she lifted her head up with wide, hopeful eyes. When she spoke, her words were jumbled and nearly nonsensical. "Did you bust, guh – did you just say what I think you said?"

Weiss couldn't help but smile at Ruby's nervousness. "Yes. I said I'll try this thing with you. Whatever it is."

Ruby's face broke into a giant grin, one that radiated warmth and happiness and made Weiss feel all was right with the world. The younger girl squeezed her arms tighter around her waist, and Weiss found herself struggling to breathe. Ruby's arms were also hurting her painfully tight ribs.

"O-Okay, Ruby, just let me go."

Ruby's arms quickly flew out of the cloak. "Crap sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you!"

Weiss chuckled and grabbed Ruby's arms by the wrists, then guided them back to their place around her waist. "I didn't mean completely let me go, I just meant don't squeeze me so tight."

"Oh." Ruby frowned. "Wait, that hurts your ribs doesn't it. Have you not been eating again?"

Weiss' expression fell. "I..." She realized there was no point in lying. "No. I haven't eaten anything for the past few days."

Anorexia was only one of the many problems brought about by her horribly low self-esteem. Ruby had been the only one to notice, and had always urged Weiss to eat more. The white-haired girl had always evaded, dodged, and lied. But now that she knew Ruby's true feelings for her, she found she couldn't bring herself to lie anymore.

Ruby's face grew hard and serious. "You're eating when we get back. I don't care if I have to spoon-feed you some applesauce, it's happening."

"Ruby, but I-"

"Weiss." Ruby stared at her, her grey eyes hard and steely. "I'm serious about this."

Weiss let out a long sigh. "Fine. Fine."

She expected Ruby to relent after that, but she didn't. "And you need to stop hating yourself too."

How did Ruby know about that? "Wha- what? Why do you think I-"

"I can see it in your eyes," Ruby interrupted. "I can tell. You do a good job of hiding it, but I've known you long enough to tell that you're not happy with yourself. You rarely smile, you almost always seem down, and you're mean and rude to almost everyone you meet. My mom once told me that hurt people hurt people." Ruby's eyes shone with concern. "And I think you just hurt inside. A lot."

Weiss lowered her gaze, unable to properly respond. Her eyes went wide when Ruby lowered her head back down to rest against her collarbone.

"And I just want you to be happy," the brunette whispered. "No matter what it takes."

Weiss shut her eyes and lowered her head so that it was resting against Ruby's. The younger girl's hair tickled her cheek, but she didn't care. She didn't want to move. She didn't want to be parted from Ruby by even an inch. All she wanted right now was this closeness.

Inside the cloak it was warm, and even though the exposed part of her face was cold, it didn't bother her in the slightest. She had never been this warm before, inside and out. She had never been this happy before.

Maybe with Ruby's help, she could learn to do the impossible. Maybe she could learn to love herself.

* * *

Weiss smiled and pulled Ruby closer to herself. The young huntress mumbled something in her sleep, but otherwise made no contrary movements as she was pulled further up onto the bed. Weiss was on her back and Ruby was on top of her, head resting on the would-be heiress' shoulder. Their room felt empty but not lonely, simply devoid of Yang and Blake. They had a few hours of quiet time to themselves.

Ruby was only on top because it was for the best; when their positions were reversed Weiss' antlers got in the way and poked Ruby's face. The brunette always laughed it off, but it still bothered Weiss. She wanted nothing but the best for the girl who had shown her such unending care and affection. The girl whose head she cradled with her free hand, whose back she massaged with the other.

She sighed and gazed up at the ceiling, managing to look away from Ruby's adorable sleeping form for a few moments. The brunette's chest still rose and fell gently, disturbing her attempts to think about anything else than her best friend and girlfriend of almost a year. But, she realized with a smile, she didn't have a problem with that. Thinking about Ruby was one of her favorite pastimes.

She was happier, much happier than she had been a year ago. She was eating healthier and more often, treating others with more respect and kindness, and generally growing more and more accepting of the world around her. She didn't hate everything as much. There were the odd ones and twos that still grated on her nerves, but she didn't automatically hate them anymore.

And it was mostly because she didn't hate herself anymore.

She tangled her hand in Ruby's hair, then began tenderly massaging the brunette's head. She actually loved herself now. And it was because she loved the girl in her arms. She loved Ruby, and she was no longer afraid to admit it.

"I love you Ruby," she whispered.

Ruby kept her eyes closed, but smiled gently. "I love you too Weiss," she murmured in return.

"Liar," Weiss whispered. "You weren't really asleep."

Ruby blinked open her eyes and smiled. "Nope. I don't want to be asleep when we're together like this."

Weiss smiled in return. She leaned forward and kissed Ruby, soft and slow.

* * *

_**Things happen when I can't sleep. I love reviews.**_


End file.
